A primer on the shiny new Illinois budget

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Governor Bruce Rauner and lawmakers announce a stopgap budget deal in Springfield Thursday. - AP PHOTO/SETH PERLMAN
  • AP Photo/Seth Perlman
  • Governor Bruce Rauner and lawmakers announce a stopgap budget deal in Springfield Thursday.
Why is it called a stopgap budget?

It sounds more dignified than "pit-stop budget" or "bullshit budget."

Why is it a six-month budget?

Because the governor and legislators knew a six-minute budget would be irresponsible.

Does this mean Governor Rauner and Speaker Madigan are now friends?

The way Britain and the European Union are now friends. 

Why didn't they just raise taxes and pass a full-year budget?

They know it's impolite to raise taxes before an election.

Where'd the money for the deal come from? 

Most of it was discovered in various rainy-day, foggy, and full-moon funds kept in shoe boxes and coat closets. 

Why wasn't this money found sooner?

The parties were busy "negotiating." 

What happened to the governor's turnaround agenda?

It's still turning around.

Did the governor withdraw his turnaround demands?

Only temporarily. He put a stopgap on his turnaround.

Can we at least take a deep breath and relax for now?

Sure, but if you're a social service provider, you only get 65 percent of a deep breath.

Will this deal build momentum for solutions to the state's other tough problems?

Don't bet your pension on it.

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