Hizzoner, Junior, Da Mayor



In recognition of Mayor Daley's big reelection win last night, one northwest-side voter, otherwise known as GetRidda Da'Bum, penned the following tribute, to be sung to the tune of Steve Goodman's classic, "The Lincoln Park Pirates" (registration required).


Hizzoner, Junior, Da Mayor
I'm your mayor, hizzoner, Junior
You voters all do what I say
I blessed Hired Truck
Though it went amok
I'll still win on election day
Cuz you guys are too scared to change me
I quintupled your taxes this year
Built Millennium Park
Using TIFs to embark
And all of Meigs Field to clear

To me, way, hey
You voters must pay
So all that I wish can be mine
I'm such a spendthrift
With your unending gifts
But the voters still think that I shine
To me, way, hey
It's about me everyday
Raising each parking-lot price
Hiring back my old crooks
Don't care how it looks
My voters still think I'm real nice

I only do huge building projects
Cuz they keep you all in the dark
Without even a holler
You throw me your dollars
To destroy every one of your parks
I used to be state's attorney
Cops tortured, I let them all go
I won't fix the schools
CTA has no clue
But you still won't elect my foes


I never consult my own voters
Their aldermen follow my lead
My patronage army
You may find them smarmy
HDO carries out my bad deeds
This makes all your taxes just soar
Museums, they used to be free
Now you can't afford them
So stay home, be bored then
You'll still give me a great legacy.


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