by Julia Thiel
When did the world become all rainbows and kittens, anyway? I've had two bikes stolen in the last two years, and I did everything I could to try to get them back. I had no luck at all. I did hear about success stories, though: the woman who recovered her stolen bike from Swap-o-Rama on Ashland (I tried the same thing but didn't find mine); the bike shop mechanic who realized that a bike with locking skewers on the wheels, brought in by someone who had no idea what the skewers were, had probably been stolen and tracked down the real owner (still waiting for that to happen with my first stolen bike, which also had locking skewers). But I guess I have gotten a missing bike back, though it was sort of borrowed without permission, not really stolen. As far as I'm concerned, if you leave your bike unlocked you're asking for it to get stolen, so I probably deserved it when my unlocked bike disappeared from the rack on my college campus where I'd parked it before running in to class. There wasn't exactly a lot of crime in the small town where I went to school, and I'd actually given up on locking my bike months earlier. But a week or two later, I found it again—and I kept it locked up after that.
Sort of related: earlier this week in San Diego, California, a woman stole a goat from a petting zoo and returned it the next morning with a pink pedicure.