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Should I call my sister out on Craigslist pics? Also: How do I get my foot fetishist boyfriend off?

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Q I went to Craigslist to look at the kinky shit people are into. And I found a picture of my sister. Her eyes are blurred out, but one pic is of her nude and one is of her giving head, and there's a tattoo that's unique to her and clearly visible. I'm 99 percent sure it's her. The ad was from her boyfriend, looking for a "horsecock" to stretch her pussy while he sits in the next room. It's her business, but it's a mind fuck. I half want to call her out, shame her out of it. She just turned 22. —Sister Pics Dilemma

A Your sister is an adult, SPD, and adults are free to post what they like to CL, and adult females are free to stick whatever they like—man cock, horse cock, whatever cock—in their pussies. It's hypocritical of you to enjoy the perversity on display at CL and then clutch your pearls in horror when you realize that someone you love—gasp!—is just as pervy as you are. So you're not going to call your sister out or shame her.

But you are going to say something to her.

There's a chance that your sister isn't aware that her boyfriend is posting her pictures on CL. Horse cocks, stretching pussies, the GF getting it on while he sits in the next room—that's all standard-issue cuckold fantasy stuff, SPD. There are women out there who are into cuckolding, of course, and there are women who've given their partners the OK to use their pictures in online personal ads seeking thirds for cuckold scenarios. However . . .

Lots of men with cuckold fantasies have posted pics of their actual wives and girlfriends on sites like CL without the consent of their actual wives and girlfriends. These guys don't see—or refuse to see—the potential harm in rubbing one out while fantasizing about the responses they've received from men who want to fuck their wives/girlfriends. The harm comes, of course, when the wife or girlfriend is recognized by a sibling, a coworker, or an employer.

On the off chance that your sister's BF is posting private pics on CL without your sister's OK, SPD, you need to say something to her. She needs to know they're out there if she doesn't already know it, and if she does know they're out there, she needs to know that she can be recognized.

Your sister doesn't need to be called out, and she doesn't need to be shamed. What she needs is a heads-up from a concerned brother. Give her that, SPD, then butt the fuck out.

Q I'm a 20-year-old gay male who entered into a relationship with a guy at the beginning of the summer. The sex has always been really good, but I'm worried about pleasing him. He disclosed early on that he has a foot fetish. Sex usually consists of him topping me while sucking my toes or me jerking him off while he's fondling the bottoms of my feet. I don't have any problem with him getting off on my feet. My problem with the whole ordeal is this: I don't know diddly about foot fetishism. I tried Google, but my results weren't much better than "Foot fetishism is the most common form of sexual fetishism from an otherwise nonsexual object or body part, and it's different depending on who you're fucking." Not very helpful.

I've talked to my boyfriend about what I can do to make things better and what he likes, but he's so bashful about the subject that I haven't gotten any information save "I prefer the soles of your feet." I've tried experimenting with things like foot jobs (which didn't work out very well because I had no idea what I was doing), and not knowing what else to do is frustrating. I'm currently studying in France until the end of August, and I want to surprise him with my newfound knowledge about his kink and new ways to get him off. What should I know? What would you recommend? And could you fill me in on proper foot-job technique? —Seeking Orgasm-Level Escalation

A Male foot fetishists—the straight ones, anyway—will tell you that they react to feet the way most straight guys react to tits: aroused by the sight of 'em, want to do stuff to 'em. Some wanna suck 'em, some wanna fuck 'em, and some kinksters wanna safely, sanely, and consensually "torture" 'em. In other words, SOLE, it's different depending on who the woman with the tits in question happens to be fucking.

Same goes for gay foot fetishists: Some wanna suck 'em, some wanna fuck 'em, some wanna "torture" 'em. (That's called bastinado, and it should only be done safely, sanely, and consensually.) To find out what a particular foot fetishist enjoys most, you'll have to ask the foot fetishist who's enjoying your feet.

Your boyfriend probably finds it hard to talk about his fetish because he feels ashamed, needlessly so, and may have been rejected or mocked by previous partners when he opened up about his kink. (To avoid making his bashfulness worse, SOLE, avoid using terms like problem and ordeal when discussing his kink.) It's possible that the stuff you're doing for him now—sticking your toes in his mouth while he fucks you, jerking him off while he fondles your feet—fulfills all of his fantasies. Keep doing what you're doing now, SOLE, and as his confidence levels about his kink and your relationship both grow, he'll become less bashful about discussing his kink.

As for a proper foot job: bring the bottoms of your feet together and let him fuck the gap between your soles with his lubed-up cock, titty-fucking style, or have him lie on the floor while you sit on the edge of the bed and move the lubed-up sole of one of your feet back and forth across his cock until he blows his load. Have fun!

Q If you do end up having to redefine the word rick, which you threatened to do in your recent Funny or Die video, I have a suggestion: rick (v): to remove santorum orally. ("He was so grateful for the lay that he ricked his partner.") —Happy to Help

PS: Thanks for your efforts on behalf of equality for all.A You're welcome, HTH, and in case anyone missed my Funny or Die video—in which I threatened to redefine Rick Santorum's first name if he didn't lay off the gay bashing—you can watch it here: tinyurl.com/ricksick.

Santorum hasn't laid off the gay bashing, as it's all he's got, so it looks like I'm going to have to go ahead and redefine his first name too. (My apologies to Rick Dees, Rick Fox, Ricki Lake, and all the other innocent Ricks out there.) The definition I proposed in my video was a little too long and involved, so I vote for adopting yours, HTH. Now Rick Santorum isn't just a vile and disgusting politician—he's a vile and disgusting sentence.

That said, I don't think someone would rick his or her partner out of gratitude; ricking someone—sucking the frothy mix of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the by-product of anal sex out of someone's ass—is something a person would do only under duress or under orders from a cruel BDSM top.

Confidential to everybody: Make porn, win prizes! Details at humpseattle.com. No rick videos, please!

Send letters to mail@savagelove.com. Download the Savage Lovecast every Tuesday at thestranger.com/ savage.mail@savagelove.net.

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