Bossa n' Roses: here to help you sell spendy shoes

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Sometimes I wonder if some of the PR agents out there—mostly the ones lurking in the shadowy realm of the novelty compilations—might be psychic. I'd just struggled through half a review of Malajube's decent set last night at a Fader party when a press release about the Bossa n' Roses comp landed in my in-box with an angelic beep. One 30 second clip of "November Rain" later, I was thinking, "This is much easier."

Bossa n' Roses is part of a bossa nova tribute series that includes one album of Bob Marley songs and two of Stones songs, with album art designed by or for the crotch enthusiast. According to the press release, the comps are supposed to be, "cool, intelligent, modern and a little bit ironic!" If this string of blandly buzzy adjectives appeals to you, you are probably either the owner of an expensive Wicker Park boutique, have opened or are considering opening a tapas lounge, or you are an insufferable dick who does things like throw dinner parties just so you can show off your new ice-cube trays. If you are any of these things, please order Bossa n' Roses right now: its combination of Casio-strength synthstruments, kittenish whisper-singing, and "cool, intelligent, modern" irony is totally your jam. Play it as background music while people shop for overpriced shoes/dog outfits/baby-sized AC/DC shirts. Buy extra copies to give to your friends at your next party, because when you put it on they will so be in your face all, "Dude, what is this?"

Did you know that Bossa n' Roses is number nine on Spain's iTunes album chart? And what comes from Spain? That's right: tapas bars. Do the math.

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