Vinyl fetishists and gizmo geeks will probably feel a little light-headed when they encounter the impressively named ELP 1XRC Laser Turntable, a device that combines the retro-style sexiness of analog LPs with the futuristic thrill of shooting laser beams at things. (You can read a review over at Wired.) The ELP uses lasers to do a stylus's job, getting deep down into the record's groove, replicating the audio information more precisely, and causing no wear and tear. At least that's what the manufacturer and the reviewers at Wired are saying--I'm just guessing. Given its $17,000 price tag—plus, according to Wired, $3,300 in mandatory accessories and a $500 record cleaner to take care of groove dust, which apparently causes serious sound problems—I will probably never have the chance to touch, listen to, or accidentally break an ELP 1XRC Laser Turntable. Nevertheless, I salute the mad dreamers at the ELP Corporation and the freakishly expensive yet incredibly cheap-looking consumer electronics Frankenstein they've created.