Where's Scooter? | Bleader

Where's Scooter?

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From the July 19 edition of Editor & Publisher (by way of the Daily Kos) comes this bizarre bit of movie news:

"The first major Hollywood film inspired by the Plame/CIA leak case is ready to roll and, surprise, the main focus apparently will not be on a character based on Valerie or Joe Wilson, Bob Novak or even Patrick Fitzgerald—but rather on Judith Miller. And she may be played by Kate Beckinsale, who is quite a few years younger than the real thing."

Beckinsale in black rubber bodysuit ought to be good for a couple of inside scoops, but who'll take on the roles of Cheney and Rove? Pruitt Taylor Vince looks good in the second—almost a slam dunk—though the ever inaccessible "I'm my own branch of government" VP seems a harder nut to crack: Will Ferrell? Wally Shawn? Or how about Bruce Van Patten? The most hallucinatory choice of all might be Larry Gates—aka "Dr. Dan 'Danny' Kauffman" in Siegel's Invasion of the Body Snatchers—now sadly deceased, but remembered fondly (or is it creepily?) for this still resonant, almost prophetic line:

"Love, desire, ambition, faith . . . without them life is so much simpler."

Which arguably describes our reigning philosophy of government to the letter (think Dostoyevsky and the Brothers K). Meanwhile, as imperial shrub-in-chief, there's the inevitable Die Hard smirker—which unfortunately cuts too close to the Neanderthal grain. Maybe a different kind of Bruce is in order . . . LaBruce, anyone?

Finally, as columnist Bob Novak, the glowering eminence grise in l'affaire Plame, I'd probably suggest David Paymer, who's always up for anything. But Bill O'Reilly can play himself.

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