Nothing says I love you like a drink of Crunk Punch

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Last Monday I was headed west on 75th Street, looking forward to a quick tipple at the New Apartment Lounge before some rib tips on the trunk outside Lem's. For some reason both the pilot and I blinked and missed the NAL, and instead pulled up a stool one block east at Laristo's. A nice enough place, though fairly empty. While ordering a round we noticed three red plastic gas cans among the bottles behind the bar.

When we inquired, the barkeep Randy and a few patrons snorted and rolled their eyes. "That's Crunk Punch," Randy said, declining to reveal the components, but not bothering to hide his utter revulsion (he was quick to mention that the drink wasn't his invention). He tried to talk us out of one, but we couldn't be persuaded. What arrived was a painfully sweet concoction of pink lemonade and vodka, perfect for poisoning insects and rats (there was a blue version also). Maybe because there were no females present, someone observed that the drink was popular with the ladies, or rather for guys trying to get them home.

Anyway, stiff pours of Maker's there at Laristo's . . .

Laristo's Night Club, 606 E. 75th, 773-651-2862

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