Take this park and stuff it | Bleader

Take this park and stuff it

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Over the weekend the Tribune reported that the Chicago Children’s Museum has hired mega PR firm Hill & Knowlton to twist arms, and with local children’s advocacy groups falling into line, the odds are even better that Mayor Daley will get the City Council votes he needs to move the museum out of Navy Pier and into Grant Park, despite the opposition of area residents.

Well, as long as things are falling in place politically, Ben Joravsky and I think the mayor might as well find a way to resolve a few other nagging little issues by using some of that empty Grant Park space to:

 

·        Build a temporary—just temporary!—baseball field where the Cubs can play while Wrigley Field/Highest Bidder Park is undergoing its taxpayer-funded makeover.

·        Send bulldozers in during the night to construct a new downtown commuter airport for corporate hot shots who’ve missed Meigs Field and in return could promise to ante up for the Olympics.

·        Send bulldozers in during the night to rip up the new downtown commuter airport, call it a nature preserve, and then use it for concerts to help balance the Park District budget.

·        Allow Cook County to use some of its new tax receipts to build a new personnel office to hire/employ all the friends and relatives Todd Stroger’s putting on the payroll.

·        In the interest of fairness, build a new soccer field exclusively for students at the University of Chicago Lab School, who won’t always have access to the one their rivals at the Latin School are getting in Lincoln Park.

·        Find an acclaimed artist to create a sister sculpture to the Bean, only with a dull, lusterless surface shaped like Governor Blagojevich’s head and called “Public Sculpture A.”

·        Reserve space for the next project featuring lots of cement that Alderman Brendan Reilly takes it upon himself to oppose in the interest of keeping downtown “free and clear” of progress.

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