Cook County commissioners briefly refrained from arguing about whether they should be civil to each other (and whether anyone was actually being uncivil, and if so who) and came to a unanimous conclusion Wednesday morning: Carlos Zambrano’s no-hitter Monday was pretty sweet.
So sweet, in fact, that board president Todd Stroger, a south-sider, introduced a resolution honoring the Cubs pitcher that included some of the most eloquent language to flow from the halls of local government since Bill Beavers compared himself to a well-endowed farm animal: “Whereas Chicago Cubs pitcher and Cook County resident Carlos Zambrano is the staff ace for the first place Chicago Cubs. . . . Whereas the switch-hitting Carlos Zambrano has also been a leader with his bat. . .. Whereas on September 14, 2008, Carlos Zambrano took the mound after a 12-day layoff due to injury . . . "
This inspired other commissioners to speak admiringly of Zambrano--and to somehow try to tie his feat to their own political fortunes. Peter Silvestri noted that Zambrano once lived in his northwest suburban district. Larry Suffredin, no doubt happy to talk about something other than his tiebreaking vote to authorize a sales tax increase, recalled seeing the last Cub pitcher to throw a no-hitter, Milt Pappas in 1972. Elizabeth Doody Gorman said the board aims to be fair, reminding everyone that last year they’d honored Mark Buehrle for his no-no.
Of course, this being the county board, not everyone was satisfied with the measure. “If a Cub fan like myself would have been a sponsor of that resolution, we might have had Carlos Zambrano in for a few minutes,” said Joseph Mario Moreno.
At the front of the room, Stroger looked skeptical. “I’m sure he’s busy right now,” he said.