"Gene Simmons begins to weep silently while rubbing his crotch"

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I'm a proud Kiss fan, but in no way a Gene Simmons fan in any other respect--I find he's best appreciated as the loudest, most garish guy in a band full of loud, garish guys who made excellent rock 'n' roll for a good chunk of the 1970s. Outside his role as the Demon on the makeup-era albums and in Kiss Meets the Phantom of the Park, to all outward appearances he's a terrible greed monster who sees the other 6,706,993,151 people inhabiting the earth as walking, talking wallets and/or vaginas.

Now he's put his face on a bunch of urinal cakes promoting his A&E show Family Jewels--which might look kind of self-deprecating if anybody else did it, seeing as it offers the haters out there the opportunity for some micturition-related catharsis--but somehow he still comes off like an incredibly aggravating asshole. Gabe at Videogum reconstructs the meeting where the cakes got green-lighted. Sounds about right.

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