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I'm not upset that Rammstein have released a new album called Liebe Ist für Alle Da, which is German for Lube Is for Your Ass, which is of course English for Ugh. (Check to be sure your sense of humor is working before you correct my translation, please.) I'm not upset even that the superdeluxe edition includes actual lube, along with, y'know, six translucent pink dildos allegedly based on the band members' members. Some people think being transgressive is an end unto itself, and some people—among them tedious industrial-metal bands whose brains never left the 90s—still think that plastic wangs and handcuffs count as "transgressive." No, what upsets me is that, among the people who are coughing up more than $400 for the TMI version of the album, at least one must be planning to use the dildos for their intended purpose, and will in the process be fulfilling a decade-old fantasy about Rammstein running a train on them. You know it's true.