Omaha Morning World-Herald, May 13, 1895. Even as tied-to-the-tracks dramas go, this story's a weird one. Or even as real-world precursors to Park Chan-wook films go, for that matter.

"Dastardly"—that is indeed the only possible adjective here. Show me a track-tier, I'll show you a dastard.

Well connected and defined statements used to draw a lot of water in this town but gone are the days, alas. I mean, I make 'em all the time, but it gets me nowhere when I try to have my persecutors arrested.

It strikes me that Mr. Musch had terrible luck with barbers. Also, he would have been Musch in more than name if that train had hit him.