Introducing JournoScroll: The Safest Way to Listserv!

by

comment

Are you a liberal journalist who wants to talk candidly about current affairs with other journalists without becoming entangled in a JournoList-like "Tea Party tempest", or having to resign from your job like former Washington Post blogger Dave Weigel*? Then try JournoScroll: America’s safest, most private listserv!

JournoScroll is unlike other listservs in that it does not involve the Internet, but the old standbys used by A.J. Liebling, H.L. Mencken, and other legendary scribes:

—Paper,
—Pencils and pens, and
— the tools of the U.S. Postal Service (stamps)

How does JournoScroll Work?
— Write out your thoughts and send them, along with two postage stamps, to JournoScroll HQ (a post office box in Chicago, Illinois.)
— Twice each month, the makers of JournoScroll process your messages and assemble them into the order in which they were received.
— We photocopy the messages on sheets of paper and mail them out to you.
— You receive your packet of messages in an envelope within days of processing.

Why is JournoScroll better than other/email methods of communication?
Because in today’s viral age, you can never be 100 percent certain that your e-mails about Rush Limbaugh, Sarah Palin, Matt Drudge, and others will remain private. One leak and you too could be exposed to public humiliation, job loss, and the wrath of right-wing bloggers. But with JournoScroll, the only people who receive your messages are the intended recipients—other liberal journalists!

“With JournoScroll, you can act in haste—and you'll never have to repent in leisure.” — I.F. Stone

What are the benefits of using JournoScroll?
— Ultimate privacy
Tucker Carlson can’t get them
Steampunk- and Luddite-friendly

How do I know who’s also using JournoScroll?
We will be culling names from the old JournoList and adding a few of our own from the liberal media establishment. Don’t worry! “We won’t screw you over” is one of JournoScroll’s top promises to our users.

Sounds great. How much does it cost?
Nothing except your two stamps. If you want to throw in a buck to cover paper expenses, that’s cool.

"Free" is awesome. Sign me up!
Absolutely. Let us know you’re ready to join by visiting your local JournoScroll office, where a customer service representative will conduct a confidential chat with you. If your views register strongly enough on our Left-o-meter, we'll add you to our list.

Don't wait! Act today!

* Slate might hire you, though.

Add a comment