Load up Your Pockets With Annoyance | Bleader

Load up Your Pockets With Annoyance



The Saint Louis alt-weekly Riverfront Times has just released several free-to-download Rod Blagojevich ring tones that—unlike those made available a few weeks ago by Springfield's State Journal-Register—include all the F bombs. The new batch includes such Blago golden greats as "You know...they're all fucking me . . . all these national fuckers, fuck you!" and "My upward trajectory is fucking stalled if not fucking terminally wounded." Seriously, haven't we all felt that way about our upward trajectories at some time or another? That's our Blago, always swearing on behalf of the People of Illinois.

Blago is not the only controversial former governor/teevee star who will talk to you from your pockets. Sarah Palin will, too, if you let her.

The Sarah Palin in Your Pocket is a talking key chain that serves as an across-the-aisle companion piece of sorts for your Blago-tone phone. It features 13 different phrases uttered by the former governor/staunch opponent of rad-cackles, including her famous claim that "you can see Russia from Alaska" and her quip about splitting cheechakos (newbie Alaskans) from sourdoughs (hardcore Alaskans). It's a good stopgap while scientists figure out how to make a key chain that sonically reproduces all of Palin's tweets in real time.

Just imagine what it would be like to carry a Blago phone in your left pocket and a Palin key chain in your right. Someone calls and activates the ring tone: "FUCK FUCK FUCK," it goes. Then you sit down and, by accident, push the buttons on the Palin key chain. Blago, Palin, Blago, Palin: sounds unbearable, right? Then again, this is probably what the National Governors Association's annual meetings must have sounded like a few years ago.