by Whet Moser
I've been thinking for the past few days about who to vote for on Tuesday. That was making me depressed, so I distracted myself by thinking about my indecision. That made me even more depressed. Fortunately Ben Joravsky really captured the grim labors of voting in recent state and local elections, particularly with this passage:
I didn't make up my mind until I walked into the polling place and saw the names on the ballot. I picked up the stylus, looked up for some sort of divine guidance, and, finding none, took a deep breath, muttered my apologies for the sin I was about to commit, and cast my ballot for Stroger.
Yes, that's right—I voted for the guy in the coma. OK, maybe it wasn't my finest hour as a voter.
I'm not sure looking up is going to help me. I might try whipping out a compact and imagining looking at myself on Wednesday morning.