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Have you noticed every restaurant in your neighborhood piecing together whatever kind of makeshift outdoor patio the city will allow? Have you been checking out all the delighted people cruising around on their bikes? Have you made at least one trip to the Tastee Freez? Believe it or not, that yellowish bulb floating above your head is the sun, and it emanates heat. With the summer solstice merely a month away, it's high time you started opening your windows. But what if some dolt foolishly painted them shut, preventing you from enjoying the sweet, sweet Chicago breeze? Well, here's one way to fix it (h/t to the Angry Carpenter).
1. Violently rip off the window weatherproofing film covering your shoddy 1960s-era windows. It's a therapeuticway to raise one final middle finger to winter.
2. Make a solemn effort to open the window, all the while knowing it is solidly painted shut.
3. Mumble a handful of obscenities directed at the cheap landlord/owner who wanted the apartment to look fresh for new tenants but didn't pay the painters enough to do the job right.
4. Look longingly outside.
5. Take a knife and cut anywhere you think paint may be inhibiting the proper operation of the window.
6. Give the frame a couple of good knocks to loosen it up, say one last prayer, and lift.