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The instructions for how to catch and prepare turtle, at least, are not for the faint of heart. Bouwman advises caution around snapping turtles, prized for their size: "They are very aggressive and can move much more quickly than you would expect a turtle to move, coming almost off the ground when they strike." He then moves on to the kill:
Start preparing your turtle dinner by encouraging him to bite a stick. Then while holding the stick away from the body to stretch the neck, have a companion with a good eye and stout arm lop off the head with a hatchet. Hang the turtle by the tail to bleed it.
Relatedly (sort of), a coworker pointed out that in the Leonard Cohen song "Jazz Police," "turtle meat figures prominently, if incomprehensibly." I find the entire song fairly incomprehensible, but I can at least conclude that Cohen favors the campfire method of cooking turtle: "Stick another turtle on the fire / Guys like me are mad for turtle meat." He doesn't get into his preferred methods for slaughtering the turtle, though.
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