You know you have 'em: stories about bad first (or last) dates, good breakups, online exploits, one-night stands, and other dating exploits. We want them. Be smart, funny, incisive, and/or hot, and tell us about your memorable experiences in less than a thousand words. Send submissions to vday@chicagoreader.com by next Wednesday (1/25). Winning entries will be published in the February 9 issue of the Reader or performed by 2nd Story at our Anti-Valentine's Day party (Tue 2/14 at Logan Square Auditorium); please specify whether you'd like to use your real name or a pseudonym. Prizes include products from the Pleasure Chest and tickets to the Windy City Rollers.

(In the unlikely event that you don't have any awful dating stories, follow these tips or this example, which are sure to remedy that situation.)