Predictably enough, the Reader has a Valentine's Day issue hitting the streets on February 9, five days before the Hallmark holiday. We'll attempt to foil that predictability with a heavy dose of disenchantment and copious eye-rolling. Why even bother with love—am I right?
For a taste of the impending Valentine's snark, check out the nugget of gold that the good people at Found Magazine allowed us to swipe from their archives. It's a high schooler's view of what makes the perfect girl—and, yes, it's pretty bleak. You'll find it in all its glory after the jump:
Location: Recycling bin in my high school
Description: I found this in a recycling bin while recycling in my high school. This could either be a joke or a boy's life goal. If the latter, I wish him luck.
Now that you've had a moment to get inspired by that checklist, how about you dream up your ideal companion (in 140 characters or less) and tweet that description to us at @Chicago_Reader. The best tweets will likely make their way into our print edition. Getting a tweet printed is star-making material, no doubt about it.