Keeping up with the Gingriches | Bleader

Keeping up with the Gingriches

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  • Dave Maass
While everyone’s bored out of their gourd with Rick Santorum and Mitt Romney, I’m trying to keep track of my favorite Republican presidential candidate, Newt Gingrich, who is still running for president despite being nearly invisible in the media. And, also, liked by no one. Wondering what Gingrich is up to lately? I made a list! Don't worry, it's short. Recently Newt Gingrich has:

- gotten a flat tire in West Hollywood

- gotten (maybe) another metric fuckton of money from crazy billionaire Sheldon Adelson, who seems even more confused about Gingrich's chances than Gingrich (or, alternately, crazy like a fox)

- been characterized by one letter writer as “shifting gears just like a defiant trucker charging down a steep grade with the smell of burning rubber in his nostrils

- declined to seek the release of Justice Department ethics documents concerning his term as House speaker

- averred, “You can't put a gun rack in a Volt. . . . We believe in the right to bear arms, and we like to bear the arms in our trucks!"

- learned about “facts” from Herman Cain, who commented about Gingrich, troublingly, “Contrary to what the mainstream, lame-stream media says, he can actually pull it out.”

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