Make mine a manhattan | Bleader

Make mine a manhattan


Sign up for our newsletters Subscribe


On January 1, 1979, my colleague (and better man) Steve Bogira wrote a column for the Chicago Tribune on the many ways to describe drunkenness. It was titled "Lots of nice ways to say you were stinking drunk."

(Alas, it's not available as a link on the Internet, as the Internet didn't even exist then. And you my also wonder: how did ever youthful Bogira even write for the Tribune then? Well, they hired teenage writers at the time.)

I've had a few cocktails on this glorious Chicago Sunday afternoon, but I am not yet (per Steve's 1979 article): "polluted," "reeking," "stinko" "blitzed," or "bombed." Nor am I "featured," which apparently means "inspired to believe strongly in his ability to sing a song, to tell a funny story, or to execute a dance."

I have never been able to execute a dance, whether sober or no.

But I have been able to execute a cocktail, per my Reader bio.