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So today Belushi does humor. He takes the humorous premise that, now that he's in his mid-50s, he's become a "pill popper"—you know, like for gout and baldness. The headline is "In my 50s, I'm a pill popper." In the text this is related in the mock-confessional style. Belushi reports eating pretty well in California, where he lives, but when he visits Chicago all bets are off. "On my way to the airport,"” he writes, "I have to stop and pick up two double-dipped Italian beefs from Portillo's. Did you know they have a drive-through? A limo will fit through it!" Ha ha! I totally didn’t know that. And so then he takes some more medicine. He has, Belushi muses, "pill-anoia," a condition which causes the sufferer to seek out every legal prescription medication around. This sets up several jokes about old people's sexual functionality, which is a famously humorous topic.
The Sun-Times is paying celebrity contributors to the Splash a $1,000 fee, which they've all agreed to donate to charity.