Well, Jenny McCarthy's been promoted—a move that's sure to make Jim Belushi jealous. (We're waiting for the Sneed take on this.) They're the two former celebrities that the Sun-Times is betting the house on, but they're pretty much weak sauce. Bad eggs, all in the same basket. Whatever, anyway: Belushi's most recent foray into late-career reinvention was reported in the Splash section of the Sun-Times last Sunday. Belushi is set to open a new local comedy bar, called the Comedy Bar, where you can take your lady friends: "You take a girl to the Comedy Bar, and she laughs very hard and releases a lot of endorphins, you've got a better shot." He'll be here all week! In his regular column, in the Sun-Times. Yesterday evening the paper announced that Jenny McCarthy, another regular columnist, is about to become, in the manner of all satisfying splashes, even more regular. She has been hired as a "regular columnist and daily blogger."

Her advice column, Ask Jenny, will run every Sunday, though McCarthy actually made her debut as a local sage in September, when the Sunday Splash launched. "How can I feel more confident when I'm naked?" wondered Alexandra B., who is from Naperville. "If fantastic ideas were accepted as legitimate advice," McCarthy advised, Alexandra B. might consider going back in time to when she was 20 years old. Well, if wishes were horses, etc. The second suggestion was that Alexandra B. should lose weight. Ask Jenny will continue to address "subjects girlfriends talk about," for instance, "love, sex, parenting, friendship, fitness and more."

That's just her day job, though. McCarthy also helms an organization, Generation Rescue, that advances the tinfoil-hat claims that autism is caused by childhood vaccination—or, as the Sun-Times phrased it earlier this year, "promotes options for autism treatment."