Kimmy Walters is one of 25 Chicagoans—individuals who work behind the scenes, who populate the underground, who are fascinating chiefly because of a passion for what they do—profiled in our second annual People Issue.

I have often been a Twitter evangelist, and that's partly because of the amazing stuff I read coming from People Issue subject Kimmy Walters, one of the nicest people you'll ever meet and a gifted social mediaite. How good is she? I once responded to a really great tweet with a marriage proposal. We didn't know each other. I don't think I'm the only one who's done that.

I fear that our hour-long conversation, condensed into a more digestible format by my patient editor, took for granted that its reader would understand just how sincere and true her tweets as @arealliveghost can be, especially for a member of the loose coalition of Weird Tweeters, who write more to build linguistic muscle mass than anything (I think). So I collected a bunch of her best tweets after the jump, to point out that if you aren't one of her 11,000-odd followers, you should be. (If you're not on Twitter, that's another problem, dad.)

I told you that I loved you from the bottom of my heart but secretly my heart has a false bottom hiding a pile of sleepy puppies
— kimmy (@aRealLiveGhost) March 21, 2012

they will hook me up to a polygraph and ask me if I love you and I will say no but the needle will jump and sputter exactly how you laugh
— kimmy (@aRealLiveGhost) July 27, 2012

if you watch the world backwards it's about a bunch of animals having sex until there are none left. that's also what it's about forwards
— kimmy (@aRealLiveGhost) May 6, 2012

Lose Weight With This One Weird Tip! Cut Your Butt Off And Throw It In The Trash
— kimmy (@aRealLiveGhost) January 12, 2012

I'll get nervous in front of you for free
— kimmy (@aRealLiveGhost) October 11, 2012

sext: you are SmarterChild. I carefully type out the word "fuck" but get nervous and delete it. I touch the screen. "someday," I whisper
— kimmy (@aRealLiveGhost) February 19, 2012

sext: after we spend hours photoshopping and autotuning each other, I discover that you have no genitalia. "this is ideal," I mutter
— kimmy (@aRealLiveGhost) May 6, 2012

sext: I am a pair of parentheses. you pry me open and cram me full of irrelevant information. it feels clunky and weird
— kimmy (@aRealLiveGhost) April 1, 2012

once I saw a fountain turn on while a duck was sitting on it and my grandpa gravely informed me that it would be the best thing I ever see
— kimmy (@aRealLiveGhost) April 24, 2012

*in a deep, horrifying voice* y'all
— kimmy (@aRealLiveGhost) December 7, 2012

a long time ago a dog stood up on two legs and got sad and that's where humans came from
— kimmy (@aRealLiveGhost) February 2, 2012

our twitters are parts of complicated experiments designed to make people fall in love with us even as they are saying "no, what? why"
— kimmy (@aRealLiveGhost) January 22, 2012

DAD: I taught you all I know. I must go SON: but- (DAD slowly skateboards into the placid sea) SON: I lov- (DAD disappears under the water)
— kimmy (@aRealLiveGhost) April 23, 2012

Oh, you want more? Check out her @horse_ebook poems, another one of these weird Internet things you'll never understand if you think too hard about it.