The funniest, weirdest, and angriest Best of Chicago reader votes | Bleader

The funniest, weirdest, and angriest Best of Chicago reader votes


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Barack Obama, circa 08.
When it comes to our annual Best of Chicago issue, we at the Reader strive to be as democratic as possible. That's why we give you, the readers of the Reader, free rein to voice your opinions on everything from Best Alderman to Best Bike Shop, by way of a wide-open write-in ballot. This might not be the most convenient of methods—there's quite a bit of tedious tallying required—but damn if it isn't the most entertaining. This year's results were, per usual, quite revealing. Here's a quick rundown of some notable responses.

Unsurprisingly, many of you took the opportunity to get a bit cheeky with your selections. Take, for example, the person who voted Goodwill the Best Boutique for Men. Kudos to the person who considers the Best View of the City to be My apartment . . . Ladies? And a shout-out to the dollar-menu-naire who voted McDonald's the Best Fancy Restaurant—I'm sure you keep those Snack Wraps on lock. (By the way, you need to link up with whoever wrote in I'm too poor to eat at fancy restaurants—give 'em a taste of the good life.) My personal favorite vote for Best Gay Bar: Wrigley Field.

But not everyone fancied him- or herself a keyboard comedian—nestled among all the jokes were some transparently sincere responses. My mom's kitchen snagged a vote for Best Soul Food, while Chicago Teachers nabbed a nod for Best Activist. And Best Politician You'd Like to Resurrect? Barack Obama, the first one.

Then we have, at the opposite end of the spectrum, the malcontents among you who used the ballot to air their grievances. Incredulous voters offered this is fucked up and are you fucking kidding me? in response to Best-Looking Waitstaff; a seemingly disillusioned voter suggested None—Chicago is terrible in response to Best Neighborhood for Diversity. None. It's a bunch of bull shit and Sallie Mae won't take an exchange for my degree, and I sure as hell ain't using it was one embittered response to Best College Degree for the Money.

And finally, we had the renegades—those who seemed interested in derailing the entire process. Somebody (could be this guy or gal) voted for Riot Fest in literally every category, resulting in some unintentional (or maybe intentional?) humor: Best Place to Get Married? Riot Fest. Best Dog Park? Riot Fest. Somebody did the same for local DJ Teen Witch, who, for my money at least, would be an ideal choice for Best Chicago Ambassador.

Some honorable mentions:

Best Celebrity: lady gaga's "Chicago Fire" boyfriend
Best Chicago Ambassador: Aziz Ansari
Best New Food Trend: Who cares?
Best Neighborhood for Nightlife: The non-douchey parts of Lincoln Park
Best Place for a New El Stop: Somewhere that connects the north side brown line/red line with the blue line so I can actually get to Logan Square
Best Suburb: not fucking Cicero, I can tell you that much
Best 4 AM Bar: lol

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