Tradition keeps us cozy and warm around the holidays—and a routine that only happens once a year can't feel too tedious. Maybe your thing is to happily choke down extra-boozy eggnog with a brick of fruitcake, or perhaps you gather around the TV to watch Bing Crosby and Rosemary Clooney sass each other in White Christmas. Both totally decent options. Me, I like to repeatedly listen to and eventually write a short post about the B side of a little-known 1995 seven-inch by great long-gone Boston oi-punk band the Showcase Showdown: “Merry Christmas, I Fucked Your Snowman.”
There are a couple of reasons for this. One, it’s an irreverent, hilarious, and slightly offensive two-minute punk song about violating a snowman, with affecting lyrics from front man Albert "Ping Pong" Genna: “I knocked that stupid virgin down / Broke Joseph’s robes upon the ground / I saw his eyes from across the lawn / And oh ho ho, my heart was gone.” And, two, because I can get away with indulging in an obscure tradition in a public forum for the sake of my own sanity. It’s Christmas, after all, and don’t we all deserve at least a kernel of joy on the official merriest day of the year?