Stormy Daniels's upcoming shows at the Admiral Theatre will feature shout-outs to our very own Mayor Rahm.
That's right—Sam Cecola, the Admiral's owner, tells me he just finalized arrangements with Stormy to appear at three live shows in June at the theater at 3940 W. Lawrence. And as part of that extravaganza, Rahm Emanuel and Donald Trump will be taking the stage with Stormy.
OK, it will really be a guy in a Rahm mask and another guy in a Trump mask. But it will be Stormy in the flesh.
As you know, that would be Stormy Daniels the porn star who's causing big-time troubles for Trump by threatening to go public with potentially humiliating info (maybe even pictures) detailing their alleged romp in the sack back in 2006.
Trump tried to shut up Stormy—or, at least his lawyer, Michael Cohen, tried to shut her up—by paying her $130,000 to sign a confidentiality agreement.
In an effort to get out of that agreement, Stormy hired a barracuda of a lawyer named Michael Avenatti, who happens to be the answer to the following question . . .
Who's the first person I'd call if I ever got into a legal entanglement with a rapacious shark like Donald Trump?
On Friday, Cecola finalized arrangements with Daniels, who will be bringing her "Make America Horny Again" tour to the theater early this summer.
There will be five shows over three nights, June 14 through 16, and each show will feature about 20 minutes of Stormy dancing. Afterward, fans who can pay an extra $20 to take a picture (Polaroids only) or get an autograph.
"I expect the line to go around the block," says Cecola.
The media's welcome to attend, so long as reporters abide by Stormy's rules.
"She is willing to speak to the media without cameras in her face if they come over to her merchandise table respectfully, one at a time, after her shows," Daniels's booking agent said in an e-mail to the Admiral. "Of course, she can't answer any questions about Trump."
Good luck with that provision, Stormy.
Press restrictions or not, this may be the Admiral's greatest event since the Sarah Palin look-a-likes extravaganza a few years back.
"That Palin one was huge," says Cecola. "We had 50, maybe 60, media people, including some from as far away as Paris."
Among the performers frolicking during the show with Stormy will be those dudes in the Trump and Rahm masks.
Why drag Rahm into this? Turns out the Admiral's been locked in testy negotiations with the Emanuel administration for the last few months over about $2.6 million in back taxes.
The city says the Admiral owes it the money for several years of unpaid amusement taxes. The Admiral says that technically it's the dancers who perform there who owe the taxes. But since most of those dancers have "scattered to the wind," as Cecola puts it, the Admiral will pay the bill.
"We're negotiating with the city over the final number, 'cause there's no way we can afford $2.6 million," says Cecola.
The dude in the Rahm mask will be the Admiral's way of letting the mayor know just what they think of him. Knowing Rahm, I have a hunch the feeling is mutual.
Rahm and or Chicago are connected to the Trump/Daniels affair in a bunch of ways. Let me count the ways:
One: Stormy's lawyer, the aforementioned Mr. Avenatti, is a former associate of Rahm's in a political research op firm they operated back in the early 90s.
Two: Trump's good pals with Rahm's younger brother, Ari Emanuel, the hotshot Hollywood entertainment agent. "Ari's a very good friend of mine," Trump told a reporter in 2016. "He calls me a lot. I call him a lot. We talk."
Three: That big, fat ugly Trump sign that hangs on his downtown tower so everyone can see it even if they can't stand the sight is courtesy of a green light from the Emanuel administration. I might add that Trump donated $50,000 to Rahm's first mayoral campaign, but nothing since. Guess Trump's not looking for any favors since he got that sign.
Four: Michael Cohen, Trump's lawyer, owns 22 taxi cabs in Chicago that have accumulated 89 violations for things like expired insurance and license plates. (Thanks to Tim Novak of the Sun-Times for digging up this scoop.) One of Cohen's cab-owning companies is called Fender Bender—an appropriate name considering what Cohen's client is doing to the country.
Five: Alderman Ed Burke—one of the mayor's closest council allies—helped Trump reduce the amount he pays in property taxes on that tower by handling an appeal to the Cook County assessor through the law firm specializing in property tax appeals that he runs when he's not busy being chairman of the council’s finance committee.