Rules!? Move-in On The Second Date! | Matches blog

Rules!? Move-in On The Second Date!


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Sometimes I feel that maybe I move a little too fast when it comes to relationships. I can't be entirely certain about which is the first, second and third date because most of the time they all just kind of blend together. The only thing I can hope for is that my date and I are staying on the same page. If that can be accomplished, I can forget about the number of dates and we can move forward even though I will undoubtedly think to myself on occasion that maybe I should not have mentioned one thing and certainly should have said another. Then again, what fun is a relationship without throwing caution to the wind, even if only for a minute. Regardless of the second guessing, the should-have-done-wish-I-would-have-done thinking countered by moments where all thinking stops and bold moves are made, the guy in this particular story definitely has me beat when it comes to bold moves and moving a bit too fast...

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A Story About Being Too Fast and Too Bold:

Women’s magazines and advice columns are constantly telling us that when it comes to dating, it is best to stay aloof and make sure that you don’t come across too strong to the opposite sex. I briefly worked for a matchmaking company and we would advise the women that they shouldn’t commit these top three, cardinal first-date sins: 1) Let the conversation be double-sided and do not dominate; 2) never bring up your past relationships because men are afraid of baggage; and 3) under no circumstances do you ever bring up future talk. Simple enough, right?

I met “Speed Racer” online and we decide to set up a brunch date. Upon meeting, that brunch turned into brunch, drinks and dinner. He mentions that he has to go home and feed his cat, Mrs. Buttersworth so the plan is to stop by his apartment, make sure the cat has food, and then eat somewhere in his neighborhood. We end up opting for Thai take-out and a movie. Somewhere between the Pad Thai and the chicken curry, he calls out to Mrs. Buttersworth and says, “Hey pretty, come show your new momma your fancy collar.” Wait, what? Who? I immediately start fixing my hair for what I thought would be my big TV debut on Punk'd. No such luck. I laugh off the comment and pretend to admire Mrs. Buttersworth’s collar in all of its bedazzled glory. I’m highly allergic to cats so the minute the little monster climbs into my lap, I start sneezing. He offers to run to Walgreen's to get me Benadryl and hair ties, at my request. He arrives with a big pack of hair ties and I laugh because I only really needed one. He says, “Well, you can just leave the rest in the bathroom, so when you come back, you won't have to bring your own. You should also bring a tooth brush next time you come and you can leave that behind for when you start spending the night.” Immediately, my fight or flight responses are trying to get me up and out of that apartment as quickly as possible! I try hiding my shock, and say in my flirtiest voice possible, “Well, don’t you think it’s a little early to be talking like that? Who says I want to come back?” He responds with, “Well, why wouldn’t you? You know you can’t get enough of me and frankly, if you give me another half hour, I will show you just how much you will be missing out on if you don’t come back to hang out again.” The rest of the night happened in slow motion as I turn to see him reach for his zipper and whip out his little friend. I was in such shock, the only thing I could manage to get out of my mouth was, “I’m definitely not impressed, and your cat's new collar is tacky,” before I ran (literally) out the door to get into a cab!


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