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Cable Box

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Format

Half hour of sketch comedy by the Cirque du Squirrel ensemble under the direction of auteur Dale Chapman. Program promotes yucks through "dick jokes and infantile bathroom humor."

Target Demographic

Men, 25 to 39, who rhapsodize about their first viewing of Porky's----and the women who love them.

Thematic Concerns

Celebrating the prophetic powers of Pez dispensers, the backsides of old ladies, nude performances of Shakespeare, and anchorwoman Jackie Bange.

Representative Excerpt

Spoof of Antiques Roadshow, featuring Chapman as both the Appraiser and George, an avid collector from Berwyn.

Appraiser: OK, George, you have one other item. Why don't you tell our viewers about it?

George: Well, this here is General Dwight D. Eisenhower's foreskin.

A: And how did you get it?

G: It was part of my second wife's dowry. A lot of people think Eisenhower was uncircumcised. But here's the proof!

A: Well, the foreskin market in the past couple years has gone through the roof. I know Nixon's foreskin sold at auction for about two million dollars. And it looks like this foreskin's been refinished.

G: It was getting kinda crusty, so my ex-wife put some ArmorAll on it.

A: That's too bad. In its original condition this foreskin is probably somewhere around one million dollars. But with the ArmorAll on it, it's probably somewhere in the neighborhood of seven to eleven cents.

G: Goddamn it! I'm glad I killed that bitch with a shovel!

(Graphic: "Eisenhower's Foreskin $0.07")

Peek Into Psyche

Segment titled "Philosophies by Dale Chapman."

Chapman: My idea of a good wife is a woman who spends eight to ten hours a day on the phone trying to convince her friends to have sex with me. . . . If there wasn't such a thing as going to the bathroom, some people would never get out of bed. . . . I spend half my time contemplating the great issues of existence and the other half looking for the remote control. . . . A good war would be old people versus foreigners. . . . They should grease up Barry Manilow and shove him right up Rosie O'Donnell's ass.

We're Geniuses in France airs Thursdays at 10 PM on cable access channel 19.

--Joy Bergmann

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