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Caught in the Net

Readings From Cyberspace, v.1.03

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Captured at newsgroup alt.cynicism

From: steadman@mu. sans.vuw.ac.nz (Daniel Steadman)

Subject: Suicide

Well this has me all fired up *NOT* this group is so boring I might as well throw myself off a cliff, that is except for the fact that there would probably be a conspiracy to catch me at the bottom, keeping me alive but paralyzed from the neck down. Come to think of it even if I did succeed I'd still be dead which I'd imagine is sort of boredom/doing nothing for eternity or assuming that religion isn't a brainwashing process controlled by an elite board of medieval business interests, I'd end up either in heaven with a genderless choir singing the praises of the guy who was responsible for my misery on earth. Or, bonus prize, I'd end up in hell being forced to listen to Barry Manilow records by a diminutive devil called Futumch and his moron sidekick Orgo. Now I'm not sure why I'm posting this as it will probably spark off a big bunch of antipathy from everyone who isn't interested in the post. Hohumm.

From: genepool@netcom.com (Jim Michael)

Subject: Re: Suicide

Well, please leave me your property if you kill yourself. I need some styrofoam cups.

From: bsb0323@email.unc.edu (Nemesis)

Subject: Moon

Not only am I confident that we never walked on the moon, but I think it's a crock that NASA passes its research off as useful in any form whatsoever.

Also, the Contract With America is a hoax to give back a pulse to a media industry slowly committing suicide through endless OJ coverage.

Just thought I'd let you know.

From: mofo@netcom.com (mofo)

Subject: Re: Moon

(Nemesis) scribbles in crayon:

Not only am I confident that we never walked on the moon, but I think it's a crock that NASA passes its research off as useful in any form whatsoever.

Disagree, back in the 60s people designed things right so I don't doubt that we could have slung a couple boneheads (i.e., trained air force jockeys) into space and back.

However, I concur that NASA has outlived its usefulness. In fact, it never had any more purpose than a global PR campaign despite what NASA administrators may think. It's a political thang. Now that USSR is no longer a competitor, it doesn't even serve that purpose and should be disbanded in the interest of cutting the national deficit.

Also, the Contract With America is a hoax to give back a pulse to a media industry slowly committing suicide through endless OJ coverage.

Disagree on both counts. Nobody gives a shit about the Contract With America because of three reasons:

1. nobody's paying attention

2. they don't know what the contract is

3. they know whatever contract they come up with, it's a lie anyway

And endless OJ coverage? Are you kidding? This stuff is better than Melrose Place because it's real and not implausible. Personally I don't get enough coverage; ktvu news now relegates the oj segment to the last 10 minutes of the program, too late for my blood.

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