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Caught in the Net

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Captured at www.nasinet.org/faq95b.html

Internet Virtual Bigfoot Conference "I.V.B.C." Frequently Asked Questions

Is "Bigfoot" real? And if you believe it is real, what is your best evidence for believing so?

Whether or not "bigfoot" is real, the "bigfoot phenomenon" is real. The "bigfoot phenomenon" is the certain fact that we continue to receive "bigfoot" sighting reports, and we continue to find "bigfoot" footprints in the forest. Something is making the footprints, and something is being seen in the Pacific Northwest by human observers.

Sighting Reports

Stories about sightings of bigfoot-like creatures persist amongst Native Americans and Eurocentric immigrants and their descendants, providing evidence that the bigfoot phenomenon is not culture specific, lending even more evidence to the idea that it is not caused by a mass hallucination, since mass hallucinations don't jump cultures very well. The stories also show that the phenomenon is a continuous one which has occurred in the Pacific Northwest for more than 150 years. Bigfoot sighting stories and footprint stories from Eurocentric and indigenous cultures have been written down for the past 150 years, the oral history of the indigenous peoples is much older.

Hair Samples

Purported bigfoot hair samples are being studied, but no one wants to talk about it yet. Rumor has it that results will be announced one day, and that there has been some trouble sequencing the DNA.

Why can't our satellites see any?

They could, it's just that "a" the satellite images would need to be enlarged to a suitable size and "b" the images would need to be of an area which happened to have a visible bigfoot in it. The cost and effort of doing a large enough survey would be enormous.

How do I know if some "Sasquatches" are around?

A" There are huge barefoot human-like tracks.

B" Every creature in the forest becomes utterly silent.

C" The call of a nightbird is heard during the day, or the call of a daytime bird at night.

D" A powerful, indescribable animal smell is present.

E" A roaring scream, a screaming roar, louder and unlike any other animal, is heard.

F" Trees 4" thick are being snapped in half by a very strong creature that is apparently just out of your sight.

G" A large creature is hitting large sticks against large trees, again apparently out of your sight.

H" Animals are found hung in trees, heavier and higher than a cougar/mountain lion could carry them.

I" Strange pits or rock-cairns are found in remote places.

J" Trees 4" thick are found broken off, ten feet above the ground.

K" Stumps are found in remote places, ripped out of the ground.

L" One apparently speaks to you in your native language.

M" One helps you when you break your leg in the remote wilderness.

Caught in the Net welcomes interesting flotsam culled by its readers. Send E-mail to netfishing@chicagoreader.com.

There's a T-shirt in it for you if we print it.

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