After one sentence I knew I should have stopped.
But, like a train accident where the body is so mangled and dismembered that you just can't help yourself, I read on.
I am, of course, referring to Jill Blardinelli's critique of the Offspring show at the Vic Theatre [Rock Etc., November 11].
Quoth her first words: "If Green Day are the Replacements of the 90s, then the Offspring are the Fugazi."
Can I ask Blardinelli why she felt the need to not only mention the Offspring and Fugazi in the same sentence but actually compare the two?
Not to mock bubble gum lyrics, flaky guitar riffs and cool looking braided-hair singers who fit that grunge image so well, but the comparison shows that Blardinelli wouldn't know a punk rock group if they bit her in the ass and screamed, "We're a fucking punk rock group, dammit!"
But it's what I've come to expect from the Reader's music reviews; the writers rip on bands that show some sign of talent and creativity while they praise bands that only fit into nice, neat pigeonholes.
And the fact that the Offspring were called "harmless" in the headline also caused me some concern.
It brings a tear to my eye to think of all of those little skate punks out there hassling people at malls, thinking the Offspring play punk rock.
The only thing that keeps me going is the thought that they'll put down the Reader and pick up Margin Walker.
But instead, I fear they'll read your article, buy the Offspring's album and think it's anything but the piece of crap it is.