Director Dina Facklis and a smart Second City Theatricals ensemble have spared audiences yet another night of done-to-death stories about dating traumas and men's foibles. Instead four women and Joe Canale--someone has to move furniture--show how a sassy gay friend might have changed the lives of Shakespeare's ingenues, including Juliet: "You're 14! Look at your choices! Compared to you, Britney Spears has the wisdom of Eleanor Roosevelt!" Even familiar subjects--motherhood, tampons, mammograms--seem fresh in the hands of these performers, diverse in type but unfailingly in sync. Their singing needs work, but the comedy is perfect, with laughs flowing as freely as a pitcher of cosmos. Through 9/3: Thu 7:30 PM, Fri 10 PM, Sat 9 PM. No show 8/11-8/13. Metropolis Performing Arts Centre, 111 Campbell, Arlington Heights, 847-577-2121. $22-$27.