Who's that girl?
Who's really behind the maneuvering over boundary lines for the new 1st ward? Rich Daley? Burt Natarus? No, no, triple no. It's our own Material Girl, Madonna. Bet on it.
We know what Gov. Jim Edgar was thinking when he signed the infertility bill: every woman a Madonna. Count on it.
We did we did we did! We couldn't help it! Madonna touched down in Chicago briefly this summer while filming a movie about a women's hardball--don't cha love it?--team and INC.'s still quivering. We confess.
Don't touch me there
Chicago Police--"We Serve and Protect"--give us INClings they'd still don surgical gloves even if Madonna were an AIDS protester.
Desperately seeking Santos
The more we see Miriam "I'm no Political Hack" Santos on the news the more we think she and Madonna may have been separated at birth.
Truth or dare
Washington insiders say Secretary of Labor Lynn Martin--our own Illinois gal--will appoint Madonna as her assistant. "Everybody's Pal" Sen. Alan Dixon would have given Clarence Thomas thumbs down if it had been Madonna bringing sexual harassment charges. (Not.) Everybody's Pal's Pal Sen. Paul Simon says Madonna and all other women-species should support the Democratic Party, whether it supports women or not. You heard it here first.
Squishy reader mail
You two oughta be hauled in for trying to look like Madonna, the ultimate babe of babes. Kiss off you two Madonna-wanna-be's, we know the real thing. Madonna as ace reporters? Oh give me a break!...We love you, too--it's all, and so much much more, than we ever thought it'd be, being Madonna.