Dear Bill Wyman,
Boy, you must have enjoyed all that attention you got when you insulted Canada, because there you go insulting another nation in your mention of Jerry Garcia's death [Hitsville, August 25]. I'm sure you're looking forward to getting angry letters from legions of Deadheads, and I bet that you'll get your wish. I'm not a Deadhead, and you're getting an angry letter from me!
I'm glad that you let us know that you feel that all deaths are tragedies, because if you hadn't mentioned this, I would have thought that you were insensitive. But no, you're concerned for all those Deadheads wasting their time romanticizing their hero (as opposed to the readers wasting their time reading your column). It must suck to be so jaded regarding rock stars and their deaths. I bet it would really be disappointing for you if Elvis Costello got into a car wreck or if Eddie Vedder choked on his own vomit. How boring! Of course we would probably see a nicer eulogy than this one, which simply addressed your dislike for the Grateful Dead and their followers. What was that sentence in which you speculate about Jerry's average day other than an excuse to kick the man while he was down (literally)? Are you planning something spectacular for your death Bill? Will it happen soon so that we can write nasty letters about the pointlessness of your existence? Or will anyone even notice that you're gone?
One more thing, if Jerry's so pathetic for not kicking heroin, then how is it that he died "stupidly" while in a rehab center--a place where he could get sober?
You're really pathetic, Bill.
Bill Wyman replies:
My colleague Peter Margasak is the man Canadians love to hate.