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Night Spies

We are at Smart Bar.

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I think this was the first time I'd ever been here sober. I was here with a friend at the DJ Spooky show. The show starts and these kids are dancing and I can't figure out what kind of drugs these kids are on--or if they're just high on crazy. We didn't dance, mainly because we were so interested in watching everybody else. My attention was taken by this big, unwieldy guy in a Red Dwarf T-shirt. Red Dwarf is this craaaazy British sci-fi show. I think it's like the outer space equivalent of Dark Shadows. He was just letting his freak flag fly--doing this "I'm a little teapot" dance and constantly and inexplicably screaming in this extraordinarily pronounced lisp, "Set it on fire" and "Say the F word." The girlfriend didn't say a word, just sat on a bench and watched her crazy little man dance. At the end of the show he starts screaming again, "More love please, more love please," and we were just appalled. He was so insistent and so pedantic about his needs and all of his craziness was clothed in the Red Dwarf shirt and crazy sweat. I'm pretty sure the guy's not on drugs--he's just this way.

--Shylo Bisnett, writer

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