Night Spies | Night Spies | Chicago Reader

Music » Night Spies

Night Spies

We are at Duke of Perth.

by and

Sign up for our newsletters Subscribe


We come here after work and trade stories. It's very quaint and cozy. One night I recounted this tale, which everyone seems to think is a Seinfeld episode. I was on the way to a relative's funeral and very unsure of where I was going, so I pulled into the right lane, which was closed for construction, to look at the map. I pulled forward just a tiny little bit so I could look to the left to pull back into traffic. I couldn't have been going more than .025 miles an hour, if that, when I felt a collision. I saw that I'd hit a hearse, and then I saw that the name on the hearse was the name of the funeral home where I'd been the evening before for the wake. I realized I'd actually hit the hearse that was on its way to the church where I was going! I also knew everyone in the following 10 to 12 cars. The traffic stopped, and both men in the hearse got out to talk to me. I felt horrible--I could see all my family members sitting in their cars, waiting to get to the church.

--Gretchen Hoffman, art director

Add a comment