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Night Spies

We are at the Jewel at Clark and Catalpa

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The last couple of months I've been getting annoyed because they've stopped carrying some of the items that I would typically pick up. One evening after work I'm walking around and the first two items on my list were not there. By the third I was like, "They'd better have my meatless meatballs or I'm going to go nuts." Sure enough, no meatless meatballs. I lost it and went looking for somebody who works here. I came across a stock boy and I said, "You're going to think it's crazy, but I believe that someone in this store is spying on me. Those bubbles in the ceiling are not for security; someone's watching me and discontinuing my favorite items. I can understand one or two, but we're getting close to 20 that aren't here anymore." I kept talking and talking, because that's how I get when there's no meatless meatballs, and he's like, "Calm down, ma'am, calm down. I assure you no one at this store is spying on you. We're just a shitty grocery store." That stopped me in my tracks and calmed me down but still I was like, "I don't care what you have to do--get those meatballs back on the shelf!" and he was like, "I'll go put in an order for you." I'm going to give them a little time and check back. They'd better have those spinach pierogi things, too.

--Elizabeth Devlin, electrologist

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