Our Evil, Evil Plan | Letters | Chicago Reader

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Our Evil, Evil Plan

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Dear Mr. Reader Man,

First please forgive my english is not number one. My brother, Bo, and I want to say please not to take too harshly what Mr. Dillon [Letters, November 17] said of your praise of our show, Floss!

It is with biggest shame we must admit he was so very, very right. You see, in more than six years Floss! has been in Chicago America, we have known it was only a matter of time before our evil, evil plan was brought to light. In fact our father, Fessor Von Bebo, writer of Floss!, warned of this when he handed us the script from his bed of dying.

"There will be one," he said.

"A profit from the coast of gold.

He will see through our ways and know the power of Beboian dance to hypnotize others into only thinking they are happy and entertained. Only he is much much smarter than all of the rest and his brow sits much, much higher and is so immune to our sinister force."

Brother and I are grateful and relieved that this wise one has finally come to shine a bright light on what he calls our "atrocity." Six years is long time to huddle in dark corner of our shame. We are liverated now! For we see, from the sheer anger in his words, he has been victimized just as so many other victims of atrocities throughout history. We now understand that our father, Fessor, must take his place in history with Hitler, Hussein, and Rumsfeld, and we hope his victims feel liverated too.

One correction to make: Father's sacred script was not, as Mr. Dillon said, written on "back of a bar napkin," but on parchment of Uoykcuf (tree only found on our island of Bebo).

This is part of what gives it hypnotic powers. In fact, as guilt ridden as we are over making victims of Chicago Americans, we are powerless to stop. We must continue to share history and culture of Bebo every Saturday, 8 PM at Cornservatory, 4210 N. Lincoln Ave. We only hope poor souls who witness this atrocity are no longer taken in the way critics Larry Bommer and Laura Molzahn and thousands of Americans of all ages have been. We pray that, like the wise Mr. Dillon, they see through our evil plan and instead of happiness and fulfillment, they are filled with such rage and furor as to make those around them hope their heart medication is within reach.

Remorsefully Yours,

Jango and Bo Von Bebo

PS: One thing I have not understanding of, so maybe Reader Man can help. Mr. Dillon calls us "baloney," but is not that a delicious American treat? And while it is not our Savory Eel Cream, it is satisfying food of simple nature that once in a while we all crave. So is baloney calling good or not good, maybe to help us you can do?

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