When: Fri., Aug. 19, 10 p.m. 2011
Yes, there is a "true story" behind the New Joisey goomba personas that Personal & the Pizzas deliver in 30 minutes or less, but unlike most other garage-punk bands who play dress-up, they make it more fun to go along with the ruse. Guitarist and singer Personal writes and plays four-chord hook-krazy gems of gloriously stupid trash 'n' roll—"I Don't Wanna Be No Personal Pizza," "$7.99 for Love," "I Can Read"—by borrowing the best riffs from the Stooges, the Ramones, the Dictators, and the New York Dolls. He's backed by the Pizzas, a rhythm section with noms de peetz like Nikki Carwash and Dee Dee Eepdish, and their hilarious between-song banter—which makes them sound like an absurd mix of the Sweathogs from Welcome Back, Kotter and the low-level hitmen who get whacked early in mafia flicks—is worth the price of one of their shows all by itself. Serious Beards and other spoilers of parties need not attend, but if you like your entertainment as loud, cheesy, and addictive as jalapeño poppers—oof, madon'!—this is a must-see. —Brian Costello Mickey and the Yolks open.