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I'm riding north on the Red Line Saturday afternoon, heading up to Addison, and the train is full of people. Right after we start to pull out of the station at Clybourn, the train stops and everything gets quiet. The motorwoman comes over the loudspeaker and says, "The power has been turned off for the Chicago police. We will be moving shortly."

I look out the window and see a raggedy man standing on the platform, facing the train with his pants down around his knees, masturbating like crazy. He doesn't even see the two big cops approaching. Each cop grabs one arm and somehow they get the man's pants back up before taking him upstairs. The power comes on and the train starts moving again.

The woman sitting in front of me turns to her boyfriend and says, "See, I told you we should have taken a cab."

--S.M. Booth

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