To the editors:
I can't tell you how thrilled I am to see the great community service you are providing your Reader readers. I'm speaking of course of your thorough listings of prostitutes, strippers, and phone sex guys and girls [Section Three]!
I'm sure Chicagoland is full of guys like me, married--but looking to ruin my marriage and if I'm real lucky catch an incurable disease as well.
One suggestion for you--put this section on the front cover, and change the name of your paper to "The Foxy Chicago Swingers Guide!"
Then Reader readers will have no confusion as to exactly what you are selling.