I'm a gay black male with a foot fetish. I've tried to indulge my fetish with hustlers, but either they were not interested or I wasn't attracted to their feet. However, I have a straight male friend with perfect feet. He knows I'm gay and that I have a foot fetish. Should I ask him to indulge me in a little foot worship and risk losing his friendship, or satisfy my urges elsewhere? I've tried personal ads and foot clubs, but no one's feet get me hot like my straight friend's.
--Best Foot Forward
You may be able to divorce your buddy's feet from the rest of his person, BFF, enjoying their sheer podrifficness (pod, foot; rifficness, super), and have a sexual encounter just with your friend's feet. It's unlikely, however, that your friend would be able to divorce himself from his own feet. Saying yes would mean feeling your tongue working over his toes and your slobber running down his ankles. He would definitely feel like you were having a sexual encounter with him, not just with his feet. If your friend really is straight, odds are he'll tell you to satisfy your urges elsewhere.
But don't take my word for it. I approached a few of the straight guys here at the office, all in their late 20s and early 30s, and confronted them with this hypothetical: If a gay friend with a foot fetish asked nicely, would they let him "worship" their feet? And could they remain friends after he asked?
"I have got the ugliest feet of anyone I know," said Ben, age 31, who blushed prettily when confronted with this hypothetical. "I had ski-boot problems when I was a kid. I have bone spurs, my big toes are huge and bent on 45-degree angles toward my little toes, and I have athlete's foot. I don't think I would be real comfortable with anyone slobbering over my feet. It's too weird and my feet are too ugly. And they smell, too."
Would Ben be able to remain friendly with a gay man who asked to worship his absolutely gruesome feet? "I wouldn't lose respect for him," Ben said thoughtfully. "I would probably gain respect for him, since it would take a lot of courage to talk about something so strange. I'd still have to say no, though, but we could stay friends."
Mike, age 28, would also turn a same-sex foot-worship request down cold. "That would be crossing the line of friendship," said Mike. "It's kinda creepy. It's not really a homo/hetero thing, more just a matter of respect for personal boundaries." Could he stay friendly? "Sure, I guess." Brad, age 27, said no too. "I would still be his friend," said Brad, "as long as he shut up about it and didn't bring it up all the time after I said no."
All my straight male coworkers said they would allow a gay friend with a foot fetish to take pictures of their feet, even knowing these pictures would be jerked off to later, and none would have a problem having casts made of their feet (so long as they were provided with pizza and beer during the casting process). All three admitted that--personal boundaries and ugly-feet hang-ups notwithstanding--they would allow a gay male friend to slobber over their feet in exchange for 500 dollars.
Finally, intending no disrespect to Ben, Mike, and Brad, I would be remiss if I didn't point out that straight guys can be talked into just about anything when they're drunk, FYI.
I am a 24-year-old breeder female who can't figure out what to call a turn-on of mine. If his dick and balls brush against my feet when my boyfriend goes down on me, I go insane with desire! Would this be considered a foot fetish? Or does a foot fetish require being turned on by feet themselves? Define this quirk of mine! --Sensitive Feet
The American Heritage Dictionary defines fetish as "a material object or nonsexual part of the body that arouses sexual desire and may become necessary for sexual gratification...an abnormally obsessive preoccupation or attachment." By The American Heritage Dictionary's standards, SF, you're no foot fetishist. You aren't obsessed with your boyfriend's feet or your own, and your boyfriend's cock is definitely a sexual part of his body. You enjoy a specific activity--his cock rubbing against your feet while he eats your pussy--which is more circumstance or position than fetish. If you feel a need to define this activity, I think "quirk" is a pretty serviceable definition.
My boyfriend has a foot fetish. I am open-minded sexually, and I understand that looking at feet is an unstoppable urge for him. I don't mind the videos, the Web sites, or my fashion magazines dog-eared to pages with pictures of models' feet. But I get upset when I am with him and he can't carry on a conversation with me because there's a girl wearing sandals close by. It's very disrespectful. We have talked about it, I have cried about it, and he always promises to try harder. What do people who love people with fetishes do to deal with their personal insecurities? --I Saw That!
You've tried talking, you've tried crying; maybe it's time to try humiliating him. The next time he can't carry on a conversation because there's a woman in sandals in the room, walk up to the woman, point to your boyfriend, and announce in a loud voice that the foot fetishist over there is staring at her feet. Most women will flee, taking their feet with them, and you and the boyfriend can return to your conversation.
As for your insecurities, IST, if you're gonna be a foot fetishist's girlfriend, you're gonna have to get used to your boyfriend checking out other women's feet. To him, the sight of a woman in sandals is what the sight of a topless woman is to most other men. As he intends no disrespect, but also can't help staring, you'll either have to get over your insecurities or dump your foot-fetishist boyfriend.
I'm a 32-year-old black male living in Chicago. I am attracted to ladies with attractive lady feet. I've taken out ads in fetish magazines in hopes of meeting a woman who shares my obsession but did not get a single response. I want to meet an attractive lady who wants a man to kiss and lick her feet on a daily basis. Is there any place I can actually go in Chicago to meet attractive ladies who share my obsession?
--African Foot Lover Can't Indulge Obsession
Until very recently, AFLCIO, there wasn't anywhere foot fetishists could go in Chicago to meet attractive ladies who share their obsession. But today Chicago's foot-fetishist scene is booming! Two establishments in the city cater to foot fetishists: Hi-Tops on Sheffield and Club Foot on Augusta. There's always a dozen or more people at Hi-Tops in not much more than flip-flops, while the bartenders at Club Foot are like den mothers to Chicago's foot-fetishist community.
Send questions to Savage Love, Chicago Reader, 11 E. Illinois, Chicago 60611 or to firstname.lastname@example.org.