Guys, guys! Everyone knows Bulls general manager Jerry Krause is short, overweight, and loyal to his boss. Why won't you give it a rest?
Bernie Lincicome, Tribune.
Favorite Nickname: Crumbs.
Nickname II: Super clerk.
Fat Joke I: "The idea of either [Tim] Duncan and/or [Grant] Hill ever playing for the Bulls is as likely as Krause passing up a second cruller."
Fat Joke II: "Too bad the NBA does not have a tradition like the Masters of the displaced champion putting a fresh jacket on the new winner. Whoever it is would have to fit into a Jerry Krause garment, size 52 squat, crumbs no extra charge."
Fat Joke III: "As best as I can figure it, [Jordan's] job [with the Wizards] is to provide cachet, a little regarded basketball ingredient since it never in the history of hiring head clerks has been mentioned as much as it has been with Jordan. This I know about Jerry Krause. Whatever cachet Krause has blends in with the soup spots on his necktie."
Animal likeness: Benny the Bull.
Skip Bayless, Tribune.
Favorite Nickname: The Penguin.
Job Description: Reinsdorf's "longtime butt-kisser."
Barnyard Comparison: "A pig in slop."
He Doesn't Laugh: He "chortles."
Fat Joke: "Other GMs initially expected Krause--derisively nicknamed 'Crumbs' by Jordan--to eat up the new collective-bargaining agreement as if it were a sack of donuts."
Jay Mariotti, Sun-Times.
Favorite Nickname: Sleuth.
Nickname II: Frumpy.
Nickname III: Dumpy.
Job Description: "Glorified lackey."
Rick Telander, Sun-Times.
Favorite Nickname: Stump.
Nickname II: Jerry (Why Couldn't It Have Been Me Who Drafted Michael Jordan?) Krause.
Nickname III: The King's Fool.
He Doesn't Laugh: He's "cackling and jiggling like a business-suited, defiantly ecstatic Tweedledum."
Fat Joke: In the draft, Krause can take Richard Hamilton, "who is skinny but tough. And, of course, a guy can always gain weight. Right, Sleuth?"
Art accompanying story in printed newspaper (not available in this archive): illustration/Mike Werner.