Simpsons Under Siege | Year In Review | Chicago Reader

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Simpsons Under Siege

O.J.'s giving them a bad name.


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With one of their own ensnarled in a celebrated murder trial, people named Simpson are keeping a low profile as the year draws to a close.

In a recent telephone survey, 70 percent of those polled refused to talk about what it means to be a Simpson.

Asked if he'd like to participate in a brief survey of the clan, one man claimed to be having a sinner party. Another declined, then added, "but I appreciate the call." A third, speaking in a thick British accent, gruffly said "not at all."

"What do you want to know?" one woman responded.

"Who do you relate to more: O.J. Simpson, Bart Simpson, Senator Alan Simpson, newscaster Carole Simpson, or somebody else?'

The woman hung up.

Ten percent of the Simpsons polled relate most to Bart.

"My name also begins with a B," the 10 percent explained, adding that even though he's "a white guy, O.J. used to be a hero of mine. When I was a kid, he was a star. He won the Heisman Trophy when I was about 12."

This Simpson has abandoned his childhood favorite. Asked if he would have chosen O.J. had the poll been conducted a year ago, the man said no.

Twenty percent of Simpsons polled chose "somebody else."

A woman, identifying herself only as being "in my late 20s," said he relates most to "the pilgrim"--although she couldn't recall this alleged ancestor's first name.

Another woman said the Simpson she identifies with is her husband: "He's the only person I've ever known named Simpson."

Asked if the name was an attraction, she said, "No, it was the chemistry."

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