To the Editor of the Reader (att Bill Wyman):
Yo--Wyman is absolutely correct about the new revised Jones & the Rolling Stones which sucketh mightily as evidenced by DooDoo Lounge [Rock Etc., September 23]. I have E-mailed my opinion thereof to the Keefstone at Stones@delphi.com (as printed in Esquire) and indeed with copy the keefness thereat--can't wait till I figure out how to do a website--Wyman is pretty smarmy however about the Tribune's naivete on the Infobahn [Hitsville, December 23]--hey--well at least they're on it--what's your avatar Wyman--it is not hip to make fun of newbies--in fact, what's the Reader's Infobahn address--I think City Hall should make its presence felt on AOL in the Windy City Chat Room, in fact why doesn't the Reader & NewCity hold a weekly salon--maybe a salon held for 2 hours on Sunday evening--a real development of a news conference--like Jagger was on AOL's Center Stage--the Stones may be old, but they aren't newbies--if anyone out there wants to hire a bottled in bond cyberdude who's old enough to be a grandfather, check out Octagon Consultants in St. Thomas--its principal, a piratical type, works the Caribbean market on a UN passport setting up systems at small consulates--he's been on the Net for a good 10 years, probably longer--I ran away with him when I was a kid--we hitchhiked to NY from Niagara Falls instead of seeing Hiroshima, mon amour in Buffalo because there was TOO MUCH SNOW to get to Buffalo. (Not like Christmas Day in balmy Chicago.) That was on Ted Kennedy's 29th birthday--a Jupiter/Saturn conjunction--Tecumseh's Curse 1961. I spent Bay of Pigs with Peter having convinced my mother that I HAD to go to NY after that little escapade--I learnt to sing "Deutschland Uber Alles" that Easter and I hadn't even graduated from high school yet--which is why we were the brightest & the best.
Yeah, the Stones did suck--they didn't have to--Streisand sounded just fine & she's contemporary--the Stones suck because that's what happens to you when you sell out, a concept that was big among rad dudes when I was still a tender babe. You lose your resonance, you begin to sound like a mockery of yourself. If it isn't totally evident to you Mick killed Brian Jones--I figure Marianne Faithfull to have been his accomplice--many years ago in the event-filled Summer of 1969--Pinkville Bloooz--the whole country had it--the Manson family rampage, a local outbreak of Pinkville Bloooz. The Stones fragged a lieutenant which was a very hip thing to do in the Summer of 1969--like I'm more of an unindicted coconspirator--you, who were with me in Mylae kind of thing--Brian Jones, a Taliesin sort of figure, was a prick--and there's no material evidence--I always joke that only Nanker Phelge knows for sure--and you know what happened to Nanker, don't you, Bill--nothing that would stand up in court can stand lawyers, and since when is astrological evidence acceptable in court.
The choice of Darryl Jones was an obvious sop to Brian's memory & hopefully a salve to Mick's conscience (Scotland Yard's been reinvestigating it this year). In fact Jerry Hall's birthdate is 2 July--and astrologically speaking the connections between Mick & Jerry's charge lead me to suspect that he is pretty naive sexually as to what constitutes a really rockin' male-female alliance--but Jerry's Mick's ball and chain--and I'm predicting on the basis of my familiarity with Jagger's horoscope, that he & Jerry will divorce this year--they both could upgrade--I have no wish to see Mick do time for offing Brian--that was an act that was acceptable to community standards at that time, but he's made a little too much money out of it insofar as guilt
S. Goddard Foxe, PhD, CHt