Depending on your point of view, turnabout is fair play or payback is a bitch. We critics tend to get the last word, but this weekend the Blue Rider turns the tables on us with The Bad Review, a two-evening coup de theatre featuring more than a dozen local artists performing excerpts from and interpretations of their own worst press. On Friday night Kenn Frandsen and Michael Bruce from Rococo Rodeo plan a "bad musical interpretation of their bad reviews." Frank Melcori, skewered in the dailies for his recent Richard Nixon lounge act, will impersonate the dead ex-crook reviewing Hedy Weiss and Sid Smith. Performance artist and composer Robert Metrick will respond to my critique of his performance opera The Ennunciation (What the Oxen Said), a review he reportedly read for the first time a week ago. On Saturday's program (called The Bad Review Deux), Blue Rider artistic director Tim Fiori delves into Lawrence Bommer's trashing of G-Man! A Day in the Life of J. Edgar Hoover, and actress Tekki Lomnicki, who says she won't give her reviewer the satisfaction of showing up herself, will appear on videotape, pontificating from her suds-filled bathtub. Both evenings are hosted by Donna Blue Lachman, cofounder of the Blue Rider, who will pepper the event with her own disastrous notices. The affair benefits the Blue Rider. Blue Rider Theatre, 1822 S. Halsted, 733-4668. Friday and Saturday, 8 PM. $10.