The Girl With the Elephant Balloon | Sidebar | Chicago Reader

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I went on a date with an older guy. He would not say no. So when I finally said yes to this date, he happily booked the dinner cruise on Lake Michigan. I was like, no way, so I made up all sorts of excuses and the one that worked was that I had to watch my nieces after our date so I had to be back by certain time.

Well, thank goodness I did that.

He came to our date with a leisure suit, and some odd-looking hat. As I recall, the suit was white. And this was in the middle of winter.

He insisted on driving, went to a nice college-ish bar in Evanston, challenged me in darts (which I am really bad at), brought his own darts, and beat me in every game.

Then it was time to sit down for dinner. Right before the waitress came, he asked me what my favorite animal is. I said, "Elephant."

He took a bunch of balloons from his pocket, blew one up, and started to make balloon animals. I was like OMG. Can this date end??

The waitress came and she was like, "Hi, I . . . nice balloon animals," and he was like, "What's your fave animal?", she said, "Dog." He made her a dog.

I don't remember what happened rest of the date but at the end of the night, he expected a kiss. I gave him a handshake.

He never contacted me again, thank goodness. :)

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