Muscleman Vin Diesel goes all Kindergarten Cop on your ass in this Disney comedy, playing a navy SEAL assigned to protect a suburban mother and her five kids from Serbian secret agents. Despite his succession of human-bullet roles, Diesel's a terrific screen presence and a decent actor, so I was primed to see him do something different here. He has a few funny moments (in one scene he gets bitten on the ear by the family's pet duck), and his chemistry with the kids is genuine. But the careless and clueless script (Serbian secret agents?) doesn't give him much to work with except an endless supply of baby poo, and director Adam Shankman (Bringing Down the House) can't frame a sight gag to save his life. With Lauren Graham, Faith Ford, and Carol Kane. PG, 91 min.